This was sent to me by my friend Jill who lives in California. Her son wrote it for a creative writing assignment. I'm posting it as we brace for a foot or more of snow tonight. Maybe we all need to look at it from the eyes of a child... he will be jealous of the fun to be had!!! Anyone want to send them the snow??? She did send me a picture of some snow they have gotten on the mountains. I don't know that I feel too sorry for them though!
Wisconsin Poem
It' s Winter in Wisconsin
And the gentle breezes blow
Seventy miles an hour
At twenty-five below
Oh, how I love Wisconsin
When the snow's up to your butt
You take a breath of winter
And your nose gets frozen shut
Yes, the weather here is wonderful
So I guess I'll hang around
I could never leave Wisconsin
'Cause I'm frozen to the ground!!!
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Clean Fun
Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on the computer. They had been going at it for days, and frankly God was tired of hearing all the bickering.
Finally fed up, God said, 'THAT'S IT! I have had enough. I am going to set up a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I will judge who does the better job.' So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away.
They moused.
They faxed.
They e-mailed.
They e-mailed with attachments.
They downloaded.
They did spreadsheets!
They wrote reports.
They created labels and cards.
They created charts and graphs.
They did some genealogy reports They did every job known to man.
Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency and Satan was faster than Hades.
Then, ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and, of course, the power went off.
Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld.
Jesus just sighed.
Finally the electricity came back on, and each of them restarted their computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming 'It's gone! It's all GONE! 'I lost everything when the power went out!' Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours of work.
Satan observed this and became irate.
'Wait!' he screamed. 'That's not fair! He cheated! How come He has all His work and I don't have any?' God just shrugged and said,
'JESUS SAVES'
Finally fed up, God said, 'THAT'S IT! I have had enough. I am going to set up a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I will judge who does the better job.' So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away.
They moused.
They faxed.
They e-mailed.
They e-mailed with attachments.
They downloaded.
They did spreadsheets!
They wrote reports.
They created labels and cards.
They created charts and graphs.
They did some genealogy reports They did every job known to man.
Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency and Satan was faster than Hades.
Then, ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and, of course, the power went off.
Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld.
Jesus just sighed.
Finally the electricity came back on, and each of them restarted their computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming 'It's gone! It's all GONE! 'I lost everything when the power went out!' Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours of work.
Satan observed this and became irate.
'Wait!' he screamed. 'That's not fair! He cheated! How come He has all His work and I don't have any?' God just shrugged and said,
'JESUS SAVES'
Monday, December 8, 2008
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Snow is Fun?
Just a little glimpse of why I am not really a huge fan of snow. Yes, it is pretty and it covers all the ugly dead stuff underneath. I admit that. I love when the trees have an icy layer on them. What I do not love is the complete chaos that devours my house when it snows.
Take Monday for example, the kids first day back after nearly a week off for Thanksgiving. I was ready for them to go! At 6:00 AM, I get a phone call from the principle of the school saying school was delayed 2 hours, OK, at least it wasn't cancelled. That didn't stop the kids from getting up at the crack of dawn, hmmmm could it have been the phone ringing at 6:00AM? Or maybe it was the driveway being plowed. Or maybe they just wanted to go outside. Which they did. In pajamas.
We made it through breakfast with minimal tears and then we had to wait for 2 hours for that beautiful yellow bus. Of course the kids weren't happy that I made them stay in instead of getting all wet before school. Then came the question repeated at least 100 times in those 2 hours. Can we snowmobile? Ummm, NO!
A) That is Dads thing
B) You smell like fuel 2 seconds after it starts
C) I am not going out and freezing this early in the day -I have a whole alphabet of reasons not to go outside.
Finally, it is 9:45 AM and the bus will be there in 15 minutes. You would think they had all their gloves and gear ready to do. Not so much. Where is my ____?_______.... So after searching the depths of the 2x2 foot closet, they are all ready to go. Just 5 more minutes and the bus should be there. Only 5 minutes to behave and stay dry. Can you see where this is going?
Barely to the end of the driveway and Angelina has been hit with 2 snowballs that have rocks in them because the boys grabbed snow that was freshly plowed. So, I yelled chores that were going to be assigned for that from the front door and prayed the bus would come. Then I proceeded to lock the door so they couldn't get back in! I watched out the window as they got wetter, their backpacks got wet sitting in the driveway and someone got a face wash...
Finally, 5 minutes later than it should have been, the bus. The glorious bus. Now I had to make up 2 hours of time lost in my Monday routine. Snow is great...
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Brain Power
I am the part of the bird not in the sky. I can swin the ocean and still remain dry. What am I?
Last weeks answer-
A joke
Last weeks answer-
A joke
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Chicken, Not Turkey.
I know it's Thanksgiving but, I am going to write about chicken! A friend sent this and it made me smile! Enjoy.
Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?
BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for change! The chicken wanted change!
JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.
SARAH PALIN: As a Mayor and Governor of Alaska I have fought against and stopped the good old boy chickens attempts to cross the road against God's will . It appears I have not fully succeeded. Where's my gun?
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road.We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not.The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road with what is certainly weapons of mass destruction, perhaps nuclear. We must bomb the chicken before it attacks us and destroys our American way of life!
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems. OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life,I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe a chicken crossed the road, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road to verify the crossing.
BILL O'REILLY, FOX NEWS: Another left-wing chicken has crossed the road, probably looking for another government relocation handout. Get over it buddy, as far as I'm concerned, you're on your own.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for me.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2009, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2009. This new platform is much more stable and will never need to recross.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?
BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for change! The chicken wanted change!
JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.
SARAH PALIN: As a Mayor and Governor of Alaska I have fought against and stopped the good old boy chickens attempts to cross the road against God's will . It appears I have not fully succeeded. Where's my gun?
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road.We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not.The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road with what is certainly weapons of mass destruction, perhaps nuclear. We must bomb the chicken before it attacks us and destroys our American way of life!
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems. OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life,I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe a chicken crossed the road, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road to verify the crossing.
BILL O'REILLY, FOX NEWS: Another left-wing chicken has crossed the road, probably looking for another government relocation handout. Get over it buddy, as far as I'm concerned, you're on your own.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for me.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2009, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2009. This new platform is much more stable and will never need to recross.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Ramen War
Just heard in my kitchen... "Conversation" Between Gabrielle and Jonathan.
"G -in tears" I didn't get to do anything to make the Ramen Noodles... You got to do like 10 steps. I only got to scrunch them. I want to scrunch them again and you already did it AND put them in the microwave. You even stirred them. I didn't get to do anything.
"J -with rolling eyes" Yes you did. You got to do the water and the packet and put them in the microwave. I didn't get to do anything.
Really, are there that many steps to make Ramen Noodles? I should have just made them myself. There wouldn't have been scrunched up noodles and flavor packet all over the kitchen. Why scrunch them? Isn't part of the fun of Ramen Noodles to eat a giant long noodle?
It's the little things that start the wars I guess. When do they go back to school?
"G -in tears" I didn't get to do anything to make the Ramen Noodles... You got to do like 10 steps. I only got to scrunch them. I want to scrunch them again and you already did it AND put them in the microwave. You even stirred them. I didn't get to do anything.
"J -with rolling eyes" Yes you did. You got to do the water and the packet and put them in the microwave. I didn't get to do anything.
Really, are there that many steps to make Ramen Noodles? I should have just made them myself. There wouldn't have been scrunched up noodles and flavor packet all over the kitchen. Why scrunch them? Isn't part of the fun of Ramen Noodles to eat a giant long noodle?
It's the little things that start the wars I guess. When do they go back to school?
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