Marrying a Wisconsin Girl

> Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had
> given their new wives duties.
>
>
>
> The first man had married a woman from Louisiana and
> bragged he had told his wife she was going to do all the
> dishes and house cleaning. He said it took a couple days but
> on the third day he came home to a clean house and the
> dishes were done.
>
>
>
> The second man had married a woman from Florida. He bragged
> he had given his wife orders that she was to do all the
> cleaning, dishes and the cooking. On the first day he
> didn't see any results, but the next day it was better.
> By the third day, his house was clean, the dishes were done
> and he had a huge dinner on the table.
>
>
>
> The third man married a girl from Wisconsin. He told her
> that her duties were to keep the house clean, dishes washed,
> lawn mowed, laundry washed and hot meals on the table for
> every meal. He said the first day he didn't see
> anything, the second day he didn't see anything but by
> the third day most of the swelling had gone down and he
> could see a little out of his left eye; enough to fix
> himself a bite to eat, load the dishwasher and telephone a
> landscaper.
>
>
>
> Gotta love those Wisconsin girls .....
>
>

Love your state... even Wisconsin, in winter

This was sent to me by my friend Jill who lives in California. Her son wrote it for a creative writing assignment. I'm posting it as we brace for a foot or more of snow tonight. Maybe we all need to look at it from the eyes of a child... he will be jealous of the fun to be had!!! Anyone want to send them the snow??? She did send me a picture of some snow they have gotten on the mountains. I don't know that I feel too sorry for them though!


Wisconsin Poem
It' s Winter in Wisconsin
And the gentle breezes blow
Seventy miles an hour
At twenty-five below
Oh, how I love Wisconsin
When the snow's up to your butt
You take a breath of winter
And your nose gets frozen shut
Yes, the weather here is wonderful
So I guess I'll hang around
I could never leave Wisconsin
'Cause I'm frozen to the ground!!!

Clean Fun

Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on the computer. They had been going at it for days, and frankly God was tired of hearing all the bickering.

Finally fed up, God said, 'THAT'S IT! I have had enough. I am going to set up a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I will judge who does the better job.' So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away.

They moused.

They faxed.

They e-mailed.

They e-mailed with attachments.

They downloaded.

They did spreadsheets!

They wrote reports.

They created labels and cards.

They created charts and graphs.

They did some genealogy reports They did every job known to man.

Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency and Satan was faster than Hades.

Then, ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and, of course, the power went off.

Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld.

Jesus just sighed.

Finally the electricity came back on, and each of them restarted their computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming 'It's gone! It's all GONE! 'I lost everything when the power went out!' Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours of work.

Satan observed this and became irate.

'Wait!' he screamed. 'That's not fair! He cheated! How come He has all His work and I don't have any?' God just shrugged and said,
'JESUS SAVES'

Chicken, Not Turkey.

I know it's Thanksgiving but, I am going to write about chicken! A friend sent this and it made me smile! Enjoy.


Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for change! The chicken wanted change!
JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.
SARAH PALIN: As a Mayor and Governor of Alaska I have fought against and stopped the good old boy chickens attempts to cross the road against God's will . It appears I have not fully succeeded. Where's my gun?
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road.We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not.The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road with what is certainly weapons of mass destruction, perhaps nuclear. We must bomb the chicken before it attacks us and destroys our American way of life!
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems. OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life,I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe a chicken crossed the road, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road to verify the crossing.
BILL O'REILLY, FOX NEWS: Another left-wing chicken has crossed the road, probably looking for another government relocation handout. Get over it buddy, as far as I'm concerned, you're on your own.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for me.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2009, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2009. This new platform is much more stable and will never need to recross.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

Not qualified for Mother of the year- again...

So, this is how lunch went recently... Madaleine was a bag lady. Let me explain. She had a baggie of cereal that she was eating while we were on the road. When we got home, she wasn't finished so she kept her bag. I became busy with something- not cleaning my bead room (see previous post!) and lunch was late. So, she brought me her baggie and in her little voice said "more". So instead of stopping what I was doing, I got out some string cheese and put it in her baggie. When she was done, "more". Then I stuck a banana in there. "More"... hmmm, I think she likes this game. I had to cut her off as we had visited most of the food groups by then. She wasn't so happy when the baggie buffet closed!!! She is so my child. Poor thing!

Oh and all my kids have been in that outfit and I still think it is cute. Usually I am over things like that quickly but I guess I just like the tigger suit!!!

Food for thought

This is the fairy tale that should have been read to us when we were little:

Once upon a time
~~~~~~~~
in a land far away,
~~~~~~~~
a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess
~~~~~~~~
happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.
~~~~~~~~
The frog hopped into the princess' lap and said: ' Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.
~~~~~~~~
One kiss from you, however,and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am
~~~~~~~~
and then, my sweet, we can marry
~~~~~~~~
and set up housekeeping in your castle
~~~~~~~~
with my mother,
~~~~~~~~
where you can prepare my meals,
~~~~~~~~
clean my clothes, bear my children,
~~~~~~~~
and forever feel grateful and happy doing so.
~~~~~~~~
That night,
~~~~~~~~
as the princess dined sumptuously
~~~~~~~~
on lightly sauteed frog legs
~~~~~~~~
seasoned in a white wine
~~~~~~~
and onion cream sauce,
~~~~~~~~
she chuckled and thought to herself:
~~~~~~~~
I don't think so.

Smile

A friend sent me this this morning and it made me laugh! Enjoy...

The sharing of marriage...
>
> The old man placed order for one
> hamburger, French fries and a drink.
>
> He unwrapped the plain hamburger
> and carefully cut it in half, placing one half in front of
> his wife.
>
> He then carefully counted out the French fries,
> dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in
> front of his wife.
>
> He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set
> the cup down between them . As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the
> people around them were looking over and whispering.
>
> Obviously they were thinking, 'That poor old couple
> - all they can afford is one meal for the two of them.'
>
> As the man began to eat his fries a young man came
> to the table and politely offered to buy another meal for
> the old couple. The old man said, they were just fine - they were used to
> sharing everything.
>
> People closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn't
> eaten a bite. She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking
> turns sipping the drink.
>
> Again, the young man came over and begged them to let him buy
> another meal for them. This time the old woman said 'No, thank you, we are
> used to sharing everything.'
>
> Finally, as the old man finished and was wiping his
> face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over
> to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked
> 'What is it you are waiting for?'
>
> She answered...
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> 'THE
> TEETH.'